As I mentioned in my last post, 6 years ago we had our 1st miscarriage. After that 1st miscarriage we were left to truly begin the adventure of Infertility. I say adventure because for us, there was something new at every turn. We were with Dr. T and he was ready to begin different medications and “treatment” as soon as we were ready.
Off we went on an 18 month journey. We tried medication with timed “husband-wife time”. No positive test. We tried IUI or “the turkey baster method” with medication. No positive pregnancy test. We went through 6 medicated cycles, including 4 IUI’s and we did not get a single glimpse of a positive pregnancy test. This is so disappointing! My husband and I were desperate to have a baby. It seemed that everyone we knew was having a baby or pregnant with their 2nd or 3rd child. We were doing everything we could and nothing was helping. Each time the doctor would say, “Everything looked promising before the procedure but unfortunately it wasn’t successful.”
You see with everything in life, there is a small window of chance that there will not be a positive result. You know the, “There is a 95% chance that this or that will happen.” Well that 5% they don’t talk about… that is ME. With each cycle I had a greater and greater chance of success and then nothing! Enter one of the 1st times I was told that I am in the 5%.
I was on 2 medications consistently for 18 months. One of these meds was a steroid which was to help me with all the treatments. In 95% of cases, women who take this steroid have no reaction at all (during or after). While I was on the medication, things were going okay. Slowly over those 18 months though, things started happening that were not healthy. I had swelling and was just feeling off. We decided, after talking with Dr. T, that we should allow my body a period of no medication. The nurse called and told me to stop the medication and that once we were ready to come in again, we would discuss options. Sounds great! A time to detox my body and feel like myself again… NOPE!
I stopped taking the medication and within 3 weeks I had swelled up 2 dress sizes and over 15 lbs. I had pitting in my legs (when you press, the finger print stays for longer than a count of 10). I felt like I was bigger than the Pillsbury Dough Boy! Simple things were hard and I had no energy to do anything at all. It was awful! When I look back at pictures from that time period, it doesn’t even look like me. I went to my Primary Care Physician (PCP). He was so scared for me medically when I arrived at his office. He ordered blood work and 2 days later when it came back, he order an echocardiogram and had me taking 2-3 water pills a day. Had I waited another week to go see him, he told me that he would have immediately placed me in the hospital. This was serious! I spent the next 3-4 months loosing the water weight and swelling that had come from stopping a steroid. It was work! We were scared and ready once again to give up.
Off we went to a check in with Dr.T. This was about 6 months after we had done our final treatment and about 5 months post medication issues. At that appointment we discussed something that I never wanted to think about… we discussed IVF- In Vitro Fertilization! You see when we 1st began the journey of having a baby, I prayed and prayed that we would not get to IVF. IVF was messy and brought about a lot of things that I didn’t want to think about. That plus looking at numbers of $20,000+ made me want to cry. We talked about what it was and what our odds were. We discussed the medication, the timing of it all, and how I wasn’t getting any younger. My husband and I left the office with a lot to think about.
Things on our mind…
- How did IVF fall for us financially? Where would we get the money?
- How does IVF align with our Christian beliefs?
- What would we do if this didn’t work?
- Was I physically capable of going through the medication?
Those weighed heavy on us. I will tell you those answers all in later posts. I will say that, after a few days of discussion with each other, discussion with our families, and lots of prayer, we decided to go forward with IVF!
Pearls of Wisdom- You never know how far you can go until you are pushed further than you ever believed.
Request: I am a week out from beginning serious medication. Please pray for my body and my spirit that I will be strong enough to see this all to the end (hopefully in 10 months).
Love and Pearls ~ Me
My Life in Pearls 