Two Week Wait…

I am not a patient person! This is currently my 9th time waiting during the “two week wait” and it is only harder as the days go on! You see the TWW is the 10-14 days after IUI or IVF in which you have to wait before a blood pregnancy test can occur. Usually during this wait, I spend lots of time praying and not thinking about what is happening. (Or that’s what I try to do!)

In the past I have had to hide my frustration with waiting and pretend that everything is “normal” because no one knew what was going on. Being a chemical experiment and having to pretend that you don’t have babies inside you is really hard! This time I am lucky that I don’t have to keep it secret or hide anything. I get to talk about it in everyday life and name what is going on. If I feel off I can say “it’s the medicine” and people understand. If I say I’m tired, I have those who are there to encourage me to rest and take it easy instead of looking at me like “what’s wrong with you”.

I feel good about this transfer and everything that has taken place so far. We have given it to God and we know that His plan is what will happen. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous though… I am very nervous! I am nervous about getting the call that will determine our future. I am nervous to hear what the nurse will say either way. (I know that seems silly but hear me out!)

You see this week we will get the results that tell us if this last IVF produced an official pregnancy. We won’t know if both took or not for weeks but we will know if we are pregnant (meaning the Hcg is detected) or not. If we find out that the IVF didn’t work (I pray that isn’t the case), then it is over. I’m not ready for that yet. On the other hand if we find out it did work I will have a whole new set of worries! You see I have gotten pregnant 4 times before… but only 1 resulted in a baby to hold in my arms.

Please hear me when I say that we want another baby! We want the results to be positive! We are worried because if we find out that we are pregnant I will be even more cautious to not loose the pregnancy. It will be limited activities and limiting what I do in order to make sure we hit that 9-10 week mark and pass my miscarriage window what I have seen multiple times in the past.

When I think of my fears I don’t know what scares me more, finding out that this IVF didn’t work or finding out that it did and losing the pregnancy again. I pray daily that I don’t have to face either of those options! Time is all that will be able to tell. I feel in my gut and in my heart that everything will be okay. With that being the case, there’s a nervous side that is worried about all the outcomes that could happen. For now I will take it Day by day, hour by hour, and minute by minute. I will keep doing everything I can to do my part for positive results! For today I will be happy that I am pregnantish (the in between stage of transfer and confirmed pregnancy)!

Pearl of Wisdom: Waiting is not easy!

Request: Pray for my nerves! It is so easy to worry and get caught up in the what if’s. Pray for a peaceful few days and that my heart will be at ease! Also pray for this week. It is a very busy week with my birthday and big work events that I am responsible in bringing my “A” game to.

Love and Pearls! ~Me